Primal Purge

Running in circles

Got home early in the morning from a somewhat miscalculated Thursday night. A feeling of gross inferiority left me wandering around the computer yearning for something to do. Then she, that lovely little girl, was on the other side of the fiberoptics. The odds that both of us being awake at the weehours on the same night is pretty much nill, but it did happen. Struck up a conversation for awhile before fatigue set in. Had about two hours of sleep in total before the tasks of another day arrived through my alarm. Read the rest of this entry »

Should old aquaintance be forgot

Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama:
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, respect for others, responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Working Girl

I’ve got a job! Well, it’s temporary, but it’s $$ baybeee!! Starting tomorrow.

I had a “working interview” yesterday, which was weird. I don’t know if they were impressed with me, even tho I figured out their filing system, called to confirm appointments and even taught one of the computer illiterate employees how to search for people online. Yeesh. I did get $44 for it tho, YAY!

Still No Job

I think the interview went well the other day. They told me all about the practice and new things they’ll be doing later this year. Then they took me around the office and I sat with the receptionist for a few minutes to get a feel for what she did. They didn’t ask me any really interview questions, which ALWAYS throws me off. I’m going to keep my fingers crossed because it was a REALLY cool office!!

Nobody notices what I do, until I don’t do it.

Today, I was looking for a particular file on our server when I saw a file that seemed out of place. “Disciplinary Action” – and a date. Since I’ve had some trouble with this job in the past, I had a hunch that it was related to me. Sure enough, it was my last DA from last year.

There aren’t word to describe how I was feeling. How could they leave a CONFIDENTIAL personnel file on the main server where anyone in our lab could see it? I emailed both my supervisor and the lab manager to let them know how much this bothered me. Apparently, it was the lab manager’s fault.

Something similar happened earlier last year when the same (I think) DA was printed out and left on the printer.

Hrm. It doesn’t inspire a ton of confidence.

Now, my supervisor is leaving for another job. The buffer between myself and the lab manager will be gone. GREAT.

Kicking the Bucket?

Unfortunately, I get the feeling that our TV is going to kick the bucket sometime soon. It started a while back with a high pitched sound. It stopped for a long time, but it started up again in the last few days. NOW – it’s going into harmonics. I think it’s giving me a headache, but I need my CSI fix!

Confessions of a Drama Queen

Once in a while, I’ll have what I’ve come to call my “little breakdowns”. Everything that goes wrong (which is usually small stuff if compare to anyone else) builds up on me and I spiral downwards. I feel so tired and I just don’t want to have to deal with this crap anymore. I can’t stop crying and then the “scary thoughts” start.

Luckily, I’ve come to be able to recognize when I need help. I talk to John and/or my therapist or my family. Getting it out helps to some point. I think it helps me realize that things aren’t as dire as they seem. My entire life isn’t falling apart.

Tonight’s one of those nights. I got into bed after John was already asleep and I started sobbing so hard that I had to come out into the living room to avoid waking him. Now, granted, I’ve been crying on and off since late this afternoon. My back’s been killing me today and I just found out that my company’s “Disability Management Services” won’t be able to help me.

Four Eyes

I picked up my new glasses on Tuesday. Woo! I can see!! I never realized how bad my vision was until I put my glasses on for the first time.

It’s taking a little getting used to, but I like them – everyone thinks they’re really flattering. As soon as I can get James’ attention away from Everquest II for a couple of minutes, I’ll get him to upload my picture.

(Alright, truth is, he hasn’t been THAT bad… I’m just uber forgetful… as usual)

One thing I’ve noticed… I’m going to be obsessive-compulsive about cleaning them. I’m really bad with smudging them, so I have to wipe them clean atleast 2 times a day.